Working With Someone You Can't Stand?

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Team Player

A FIFO guide to dealing with difficult teammates



You can choose your FIFO roles, but you don’t get to choose your teammates.


You spend 12 hours a day working with someone you wouldn't have a beer with. Then you wake up the next day and do it all again.


Most of the time, it's fine. You don't have to be mates with everyone you work with.


But sometimes personalities clash and communication breaks down. Someone starts rubbing everyone the wrong way or one person's behaviour starts making the job harder than it needs to be.


Some things are within our control, some aren’t. Trying to change things outside of our control is a waste of time, which’ll only lead to frustration.


We can’t change other people, but we can change the way we interact with them and how we perform as part of a team.


Here’s what you can do when you have to work with someone you don't get along with.


 


Not every difficult person is a workplace problem


First, work out what you're dealing with


There's a big difference between someone you don't like and someone whose behaviour is causing a problem.


Your teammates, for example. They might be blunt, quiet, loud, messy or irritating. Completely different from you. But none of those things necessarily make them a problem to work with.


But if someone's behaviour is affecting safety, performance, communication or the way people are treated, that's different.


Before deciding what to do, ask yourself:


    

  • Is this a personality clash?
    • 

  • Is there a communication problem?
    • 

  • Is someone's performance affecting the rest of the crew?
    • 

  • Is the behaviour disrespectful, intimidating or inappropriate?
    • 

  • Is there a safety issue?
    • 

  • Is this happening once, or repeatedly?
    • 



The answers matter because different problems need different responses.




How to be that better team player


If you’ve identified that somebody is affecting things around you, some of these ideas can help:




Find common ground


Try to understand somebody before judging them. You might be working with people from different backgrounds, or from various parts of Australia or overseas, who have differing views, ideas and cultures.


You don't need to become best mates. But understanding how someone works can make a difficult relationship easier.


Maybe they're quiet because they're new. Maybe they're direct because that's how they've always communicated. Maybe you've both misunderstood each other's intentions.


A bit of curiosity can go a long way. Ask questions and listen to understand. Work out what matters to them.


Sometimes what looks like a personality problem might only be a communication problem.




Show respect


You don't have to like everyone you work with, but you still have to work with them.


That means keeping disagreements focused on the job rather than the person. Avoid trading insults. Don't drag other crew members into the argument. Don't turn one disagreement into a running feud.


You can be firm without being hostile. You can disagree without making it personal.


And if the other person isn't doing the same, it doesn't give you permission to join in.


Be the better person.




Deal with the small problems before they become big ones


Workplace conflict doesn't usually start with a massive argument. It often starts with the small things like ignored comments, tasks that aren’t done or someone who keeps interrupting you when you’re sharing something important.


A bit of disrespect might get brushed off. Then it continues


By the time someone finally blows up, they're not arguing about today's interruption, they're arguing about the previous events.


If something is bothering you and it's appropriate for you to raise it yourself, try and deal with it early.


    

  1. Say what happened (using evidence)
    2. 

  2. Explain the impact it has on you and those around you
    3. 

  3. Say what needs to change
    4. 



Example: “When you change the plan without telling me, I don't know what you're working from. Can we agree that we talk it through before changing it?”




Be willing to have the hard conversation if you need to


Although it’s often easier to avoid bringing up a problem, especially with someone  you suspect doesn’t handle conflict well, having that conversation sooner rather than later will pay dividends.


Just be sure to be specific and avoid insults. Focus on the problem, not the person. You’ll often find an issue faced squarely can be resolved, whereas one you avoid will likely get worse.


Some problems shouldn't be handled one-on-one


If the behaviour involves bullying, harassment, discrimination, threats, intimidation, serious misconduct or a safety risk, you don't need to confront someone yourself.


Follow your site's reporting process and speak to your supervisor, superintendent, HSE team, HR or another appropriate person.


If you're worried about how the person may react, get help rather than putting yourself in a worse situation.


Get help from your supervisor


If you've tried to resolve the issue and nothing changes, stop trying to carry it yourself.


Your supervisor or superintendent may be able to change how work is allocated, clarify expectations, mediate the issue or address a performance problem that you can't fix.


When you raise it, stick to the facts.


Explain what happened, and when. Share how often it has happened, what you've already tried and what impact it's having on the work.


“I don't like Dave” isn't particularly useful.


“This has happened three times this swing, we've discussed it twice and it's now affecting handovers” gives your manager something they can act on.


 


When should you consider leaving?


If you've tried to resolve the issue, raised it appropriately and nothing changes, it's reasonable to ask whether the workplace is still right for you.


One difficult teammate can happen anywhere. A workplace where poor behaviour is tolerated, concerns aren't heard or people feel unsafe is a different matter.


Before walking away, make sure you've considered the full picture. Is the issue one person, one crew, one supervisor, or is it part of the wider culture?


If you've decided it's time to move on, that's a smart career decision, not a failure.




Dealing with difficult teammates: 6 things to remember


    

  1. Don't assume every personality clash is a problem.
    2. 

  2. Focus on behaviour and its impact, not the person's character.
    3. 

  3. Deal with smaller issues early where it's safe and appropriate to do so.
    4. 

  4. Keep difficult conversations specific, calm and focused on the work.
    5. 

  5. Escalate bullying, harassment, threats, serious misconduct or safety concerns rather than trying to handle them yourself.
    6. 

  6. If the workplace consistently tolerates poor behaviour, consider whether it's the right place for you.
    7. 



 


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READ MORE: How to constructively address conflict in the mining workplace



    
          

      

        

          
            

              Mark Pearce
            

          
          

            
by Mark Pearce

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