Sorry, I have a life outside my job

What happens when your employer forgets you're human?

Amy is halfway through her breakfast when she notices a pool of water on her laundry floor. A pipe has sprung a leak, and she needs to call a plumber to come out immediately.

Her first thought is one that a third of Australians immediately turn to...

How am I going to tell my manager?

Amy’s against the clock to prevent her house from flooding but she’s feeling guilty.

A plumber might be available immediately or she can duck home for an hour later, but she’s already thinking about how much detail she needs to give her manager without them thinking she’s taking advantage.

If a leak is stressful enough, having to justify taking some time off work feels worse.

Life doesn't stop because you’re at work

The latest Australian Bureau of Statistics Time Use Survey found that one in three Australians always or often feel rushed or pressed for time. The most common reason according to the ABS? Balancing work and life/family.

Among people who regularly feel rushed, 42% said managing work and family was the reason. There’s something to ponder here for a moment, isn’t there? Work is one part of your life. So is tending to your children, covering for your partner, looking after your parents, taking care of your home, and managing your health. Throw in getting a broken washing machine fixed, too.

Life always has a habit of throwing obstacles your way that you don’t see coming.

Life happens

Yet some workplaces can make you feel like you're doing something wrong when your focus has to switch between work and home. Like asking to leave early and feeling guilty about it. Or needing to take an important call and feeling monitored. Or in Amy’s case, removing a small swimming pool from her house and feeling anxious about telling her manager.

When you’re not given the room to be an adult at work, you start resenting it. Why keep putting yourself through it and feeling trapped?  

Three things to do when life gets in the way

 Take back some control with these three tips

1. Stop apologising for being human

You don't need to turn every personal responsibility into an apology.

Try: “I've got a leak at home and I need to organise a plumber. I'll make sure everything is covered and keep you updated.”

You’re acknowledging your work commitments while dealing with something that needs your attention. That’s being responsible. You don't need to feel guilty for having a life.

2. Have the conversation before you need it

If you want more flexibility, don't wait until a crisis shows up. Talk to your manager about what flexibility could look like when something unexpected happens.

For example, you have young children and they’re testing out their immune systems. Illness and time off school is going to happen. Be honest about what you need and be clear about what you're responsible for. Then listen to their response.

Do they trust you to manage it or do you leave the conversation feeling like you've asked for a favour? If it’s a favour, you’ve more work to do with your boss.

3. Notice how you feel when life happens

One difficult day at home, with family, or with life in general, doesn't mean you need to consider a new job. If you’re regularly feeling anxious about asking for reasonable flexibility, that's a concern.

If you're constantly worried about being judged, monitored or treated as though you're letting the team down, the problem possibly lies elsewhere.

A good workplace understands that you have responsibilities outside work. These are the types of employers who respect you have the maturity to make sensible decisions when life happens.

The same ones who remove the fear of being judged and make you feel valued for the person you are. You can still care about your job and have a life outside it.

But you should never have to choose between being a good employee and a good human being.

If you feel you’re not being trusted to manage your life and your work, get in touch with the MPI team for a quick chat. We can’t always promise to fix things with a better employer, but you’ll always leave the chat with a straight and honest answer.

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